A few days ago, I met a man on the train. He was a really interesting guy and we ended up having a long, funny conversation. And like most of young India’s conversations, the most that we talked about were relationships (most talked because most suffered from). This guy happened to be in a number of relationships, and never happened to take any of them too seriously. However, he seemed to have a very good understanding of a variety of people.
So I asked him what the shortest affair he ever had was. And to my surprise, it turned out that 4 hours could also be the entire life span of a relation.
So he told me this story, where he met a really pretty girl in one of his classes, and they got talking on the phone. And after one whole day of endless, useless talks, both of them confessed that they found something special in each other. This confession led to a movie plan, which was thoroughly enjoyed by both of them, in every sense. (If you know what I mean 😉 ).
However, after the movie, they picked up a little fight on deciding where they should be going next. After a lengthy, futile argument, they concluded, it wasn’t meant to be. He told me the girl actually told him that she doesn’t see in him a good partner, and he won’t fit in an ideal husband’s definition either.
To add the cherry on the top, he wasn’t qualified to be a good father to her kids as well. ( She went to the moon and back) .
Even though I enjoyed the talk, and we laughed a lot, my attention was caught by a certain aspect of the story. The Hurry.
On further thinking, I gathered what seems to me like an epidemic that has infected most of the young Indians. It could be called, the RUSH-O-PHRENIA. The tendency to rush through just about everything.
What I see around me today is that we, even though being the most tale tented and intelligent bunch of people, miss such petty details of our lives. The generation today needs to slow down.
I see men and women hurrying into relationships, running through them so fast, that they can’t even enjoy the journey, jumping onto conclusions that are totally baseless, and hurrying out of them, like it was all some kind of a marathon.They keep missing the bond, an understanding, all of which takes a lot of time.
I don’t know what happens. They get attracted, they don’t want to live it, and they want a relationship. As soon as they are in it, they want commitments (they’ll start thinking about the names of their kids). They are committed; they’ll start possessing, and then doubting. Then there comes misunderstandings, tantrums, a little salt to taste, and you’re over. (We were not meant to be together; I don’t think its working anymore etc etc).
I mean what? What are you thinking? You need to slow down.
I think we should be really open minded and patient about it. Let it take its own course. Live and enjoy every phase of it, no matter how long it takes. If it works out good, hold on to it, until you can, otherwise, shake hands and say goodbyes. No need of any quarrels, bitching, bitterness and guilt.
Love is such a delicate flower. It blooms really slowly, but it blooms really beautiful. Its fragrance can drown you deep, its glory is incomparable. But if you try to open it with your hands, if you try to hurry up with it, it simply withers away. It is gone before you know it. You got to be soft to it.
We have to let go of the restlessness we carry within ourselves, like we are in a race or something. We need to wait until we actually feel the peaks and valleys of love, until we know what it really is all about.
Love is never about what we say, what we do, it’s always what we feel, what can never be said in words, just in the silence between the words.
So let’s walk slowly, feel the uncertainty, feel trust, feel ecstasy, and be lovers for real.
Let’s be lovers that walk together, and not lovers on the run.
P.S: I don’t think it’s working anymore. Let’s just break up. 😛 😛
photo credit: 100 meters [_running track with four lanes_] via photopin (license)