Self-love??? HIGHLY OVERRATED!!!

ME!!!
Having this extremely silly habit of studying people, I was one day driven by this crazy urge to ask a young girl sitting by my side in the bus about how she feels about life. She was about 19, and was very glad (to my surprise) that I asked. She started off her 20 minutes long description at this bullet train speed (yes the new ones in India) which was really difficult to cope with. I did not actually hear the whole thing, (and I didn’t want to) but what caught the most of my attention was this part:

“I just love my life. It is bumpy sometimes, but still, I can deal with anything. I am a strong girl. I love my family, I love my friends, well not all of them, but yes, many. I have this cutest lil’ dog, which I named Goofy, after MY favorite cartoon character. And, I have a boyfriend, I love him so much, he just keeps flattering ME all the time. I love taking pictures of MYself, and oh yes; I am such an emotional girl. I do a lot of social work; I even gave MY old toys and clothes to the poor children. Also, I love MYself, I love the way I am, chubby or fat if you want to call it, I am happy anyways I look…………..”
and some more 15 minutes of rubbish.

Among the countless I, ME, MY’s of this “cheerful” (filmy I would call it) girl, she totally forgot I had asked about what she thinks of LIFE, and not what she feels about herself.
Being a college student myself, what I see around everywhere is the growing obsession of self. Every single person is selfish, and selfish in a sense, that everywhere, “I” will come first, no matter who “YOU” are. Selfies and Self-love sagas are the new “THING”.

People love themselves, which is not a problem, at all (trust me, I also love myself). But the problem is being obsessed with it. We are so busy looking at ourselves in the mirror, that the value of love for others is losing its worth. Self-love is important, I mean definitely, you ought to love who you are, respect yourself, accept yourself in your totality, but that wouldn’t mean you put yourself on cloud nine.

You are beautiful (or handsome, sorry guys), but count on me, that mirror, or 880 likes on your selfie wouldn’t give you the happiness that comes when you in fact, open your eyes to others. There are beautiful people out there, by their make and by their trait. Try to just look into the people around you; some of them are really wonderful people. Put aside that phone and camera of yours, and spend time with them, not snapping pictures but snapping memories. Your families, your friends, your pet, you yourself, need love, from self, as well as from others.

And remember,
LOVE SELF, LOVE OTHERS, AND BE LOVED.

P.S.- I am not against selfies, I have many myself!!!

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A single wave shall wash us away…

Footprints
A thousand philosophies cross my mind, i write some down, i let some go.
Yet these words will only be a footprint on the sand, taken away by a single wave as it comes.
However beautiful a rose maybe, it too will wither. However mighty a man you are, death shall take it all away. All we become is a memory, that too, fades away with time.
And all the struggle that i am doing, all the pain and all the love, all the success and all the failure, all the health and all the wealth, will all be taken away, nothing would stay, nothing would last.
I may lead a life so full, or i may remain a detached soul, nothing matters, no one will ask, because no one will remain.
There is no WAY of living your life, there is no wrong, no right. However you live, be you a demon, be you an angel, both shall be buried, both shall be burned.
Even if i make a history, even if i stay in the books, they too will tear down with time, as time spares none.
We are all but tiny footprints on the sands of time, we all shall fade, we all shall perish.

Sagarika

Too Social, are we???

Too social a generation

Morning bus at 7, she started talking to a friend of hers sitting next to her.In 7 lectures at college, she murmurs and giggles with her class fellows.Return bus in the evening, she is on the phone with her family. Back to her hostel, she chit-chats with the room mates over the evening tea. At night she is whispering on the phone with her boyfriend. While cooking, reading, walking, or even brushing her teeth her phone is in her hands. She has more groups on Whatsapp than the cultural and sports groups at her university and contact list is almost a city’s telephone directory. Certainly surprised by her talking abilities, i decided to ask her, ask her when does she get to sit quite and spend some time alone? What she said was even more disturbing.
She said, “Why would i do that? I have to talk to somebody all the time. I need people. I mean, what do you do if you are not talking to someone? I wouldn’t wanna be alone. It is so depressing. In fact, i have meaning to tell you, that we all think there is something wrong with you. you are so anti-social. You don’t text, you don’t call, is there some trouble with your life? Do your parents fight? Did your boyfriend dump you? Tell me, i can help you.”

Certainly taken aback by the girl’s firm opinion about me, something struck my mind.Is it important that people be away from people just when they are depressed? What is actually wrong about staying home with yourself some day, maybe listening to some good music, reading a good book,cooking, or just, talking to yourself?
Social life is important, no doubt, but this does not mean sticking with someone all the time. What i see in this “Socializing” habit of people is a sure sign of loneliness, and the fear of meeting self.When we sit alone, doing absolutely nothing, our minds remind us of everything around us, the good, the bad,the past, the future, the problem, and also the solution. But we are too scared, too scared to look in the mirror, to meet ourselves, to talk to ourselves. We just keep ignoring, sidelining our past, our future worries, our problems, and so, we remain deprived of their solutions.
It is all definitely scary, all the world’s worries on your little mind, but others cannot solve them.You can talk to them, you can ask for advises, suggestions, but the decision has to be yours. But for us, even decisions need the help of others. It is easy, because you can blame others if something goes wrong.
Running and running, away from your silence, and into this chaos of the crowd, may give you happiness for a while, but will ultimately drive you to insanity.We are all moving in a direction, where everybody will be a madman one day, and everybody will be blaming other for it.
So just sit, make yourself a cup of coffee, turn off your phone, get away from the world for a while, and listen.Listen to the voice inside you, what it wants to say, what need to be done, and you will feel like a calmer, stronger and happier person.

“SJ”

Women Empowerment, Misunderstood?

We women
High heels, straightened hair, smelling of a hundred and one cosmetics,driving a sedan,she arrived at the parking of a roadside restaurant. With a busy shopping complex nearby, the place was obviously crowded with automobiles. After scanning the whole place from a distance,(certainly blocking the way for five whole minutes), she found a little parking space between two other cars. The space was congested, just a little more than the size of her car. The task being a little tricky, she struggled to park for a while. A group of five men, at a little distance, who were just chilling, noticed her, and decided to offer help.One of them went up to her and asked if he could park it for her. This is what she said,
“Huh!! what do you think, i don’t know guys like you? You people think we women can’t drive? You think we can’t handle our own cars? Mr. Whoever you are, we can do EVERYTHING.I have a friend waiting inside, i would have called him if i needed help. But I don’t. You can go back to sitting there and making fun of me.”
The man went back to his friends, now, obviously,making fun of her.
This very same woman will now walk inside the restaurant, expect someone to let her out of the lift first, expect her friend to pay the bills, expect him to propose her first even when she’s equally interested,expect gifts, respect, and expect that he listens to all the crap she speaks about being a modern woman, just because SHE IS A twenty first century EMPOWERED WOMAN.

So, is this what woman empowerment is? Treating others like they are on a lower platform even when you are equally or even more privileged than them?
Of course this is not the case everywhere. There are women who need to be empowered actually. They are the real sufferers.
But empowering should mean equalizing. Bringing women to have same rights and privileges as men. It should not mean that they can all become queen Victorias, commanding and ordering the world around them. Also, there is a certain way men and women are made, certain roles suite only a woman, and certain, only a man. The order of the society be such that both keep doing their roles, without one being dominated by the other.

So, do ask yourself once , what idea do you carry of woman empowerment? Is it of men and women being equal, or is it one half sitting on the heads of the other half?
Is woman empowerment understood, or terribly misunderstood?

“SJ”